You Know You've Said This Before: I Swear I'll Never Be Like That.

My dear warrior,

Recently, I was talking to God about how risky love and relationships are, and how some people put up walls out of fear of getting hurt, and to try to keep from getting burned again. God’s reply to me was “Love is risky. But Christ thought you were worth the risk when He gave His life for you. He risked you never saying ‘yes’ to Him.”

That statement sent me reeling. I was so overwhelmed by Him in that moment. I was overwhelmed by Love. What a magnificent God we live for! I’ve known many people (myself included) who decided to ‘guard their heart’ by putting up walls so they wouldn't risk getting hurt anymore. This is what is called an “inner vow." Beloved, that is not what it means to guard your heart, and it isn’t biblical. In fact, it is a tactic of the enemy.
​

An inner vow is a declaration that is made as a defensive reaction to wounding or a choice to reject someone else’s mistakes. Inner vows and judgments are seen in the Scriptural law of sowing and reaping and are no different than the laws of physics (for every action there must be an equal and opposite reaction). The laws in the spirit and the natural are always the same. Galatians 6:7 says, “whatever a man sows, this he will he also reap.” Matthew 7:1-2 says, “Judge not so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you.”

When you make an inner vow (like declaring I’ll never let anyone close to me again, I’ll never open my heart to love again, I will never let anyone break my heart again… things like that) or make judgments (I’ll never do to my family what my parents did, I’ll never be like my mom/ dad/ ex, I'll never be a horrible boss like my manager), the law of sowing and reaping (the measure of judgment you give out is what you must receive) goes into effect. You will become everything you vowed not to become, and will be wounded in the ways you swore you never would. The only way to deal with these vows and judgment is through repentance and renunciation.

The way this is done is by acknowledging to God that you have judged these people, and to recognize that God alone has that right and authority. Then recall the judgment you made, (for example: God, when I saw my dad succumb to alcohol, I hated it, I saw him as weak and I judged him as being a failure, a pathetic excuse for a dad) and the specific vow you made based on the judgment (i.e. I vowed I would never be like my dad, that if I ever acted like my dad towards my family, that I’d know I had failed as a dad). Then you renounce the vow (I renounce the vow I made never to be like my dad. I confess that judgment as sin, I repent of it, and I ask for Your forgiveness. I forgive my dad, and I accept Your forgiveness, God. I release my dad from the debt he owes me, and I ask that you would bless him.)

That is an inner vow, and that is the effect of it. It is not something you can afford to continue on in, as it only ends up damaging you, and resulting in producing all the negative fruit that you actually wanted to avoid.  

In every situation, you always have a choice: love or fear. It is always one or the other. Your reaction to many of your painful circumstances has been out of fear, not out of love. Your vows and judgments were made out of a reaction to fear. (Fear that you would become like your father, your mother; fear that you would get hurt; fear that things would go wrong; fear that you’d get let down if you got your hopes up). Fear hinders love.

Perfect love casts out fear, but the opposite is true as well. Fear can drive out love. When you choose to respond in love, you partner with God. When you react out of fear, you partner with the enemy. Currently, your fear is keeping you from accepting and receiving God’s love for you in the fullness He intends to give. By putting your heart under lock and key, rather than truly guarding it, you are not only safeguarding yourself from being hurt (which is the way the world works), but you are also blocking out the ability to give and receive/ accept love in the way God intends for you—beginning with His love.

Choose love. Choose to forgive. As God said that morning, Love is worth the risk. Christ thought you were worth the risk when He gave His life for you. He risked you never saying ‘yes’ to Him. Begin the process of partnering with God in healing your heart and renouncing those vows and judgments. The toll they have taken on you (and will continue to, because they will only get worse) are not worth it. Those vows and judgments will only hinder your relationship with the Father (and everyone else). I look forward to seeing you live in freedom from these things. It is, after all, for freedom’s sake that Christ set you free!

Live in the battleground,

Warrior Beloved
©Michèle Aimée, 2016

P.S. Here’s the basic prayer, so you can renounce vows anytime, anywhere:

Acknowledge to God that you have judged this person.
Recall the judgment you made and the specific vow you made.
Renounce the vow:
I renounce the vow/ judgment that:________. I confess that as sin and I repent of it. I ask for Your forgiveness. I forgive myself, I forgive _____, and I accept Your forgiveness, God. I release _____ from the debt they owe me, and I ask that you would bless them.